My Plea

My Plea

My brain is working on overtime
Thinking up all the ways to please you
Without sacrificing what is good.
I know what we want isn't always what we need.

I wish you would just trust me.
Be open.
Don't push me away.

Why do I have to put on this disguise to make you happy?
Why are you only accommodating if I put on a show?
I want to tear down these walls you've built up
And take you with me on this journey.

If only you knew the hope and love behind my actions.
But, you don't.
Or don't care.

You crush me with your no.
My heart sinks with your dismissal.
I see red as you turn your face away with your nose in the air.
I clench my fist and hold back my rage.

I breathe in and out slowly,
Fake an enticing smile, and
with a pleasant voice

I beg,
"Please try this yummy food Mommy made for you.
Please eat something more than rice.
Please?"

Dedicated to everyone blending up spinach in the marinara sauce, hiding veggies under rice, and holding your breath as you offer your child that spoonful of healthy food only to be rejected again and again. Today my daughter ate watermelon and goldfish crackers for lunch. Yes, I gave in. Yes, I felt like a loser. But, dinner is around the corner and I will try again.

The Five Faces of Naptime

As a first time mom, I never understood how my life would be ruled by naptime. Naps can often decide how successful I feel as a mom, and how successful I feel as a person.  The back arching, the groans, the tears, the clinginess, the fits of rage of a tired child are enough to wear on a parent’s sanity. Leaving a party early with a tired tantrumming toddler or rushing out of a restaurant carrying your crying baby hiding your own tears as you husband pays the check is not the way any parent wants to spend his or her time together as a family.

As a working mom, naptime is even more crucial. With only three to four hours to spend with her from when I get home from work until her bedtime, it’s frustrating when my fun-loving girl is so tired that she’s in complete meltdown mode for the short time I get to spend with her.  

Because naps rule our lives, I’ve named and characterized naps into 5 general categories.

1. The Jailbird Nap

This is when, despite your best efforts, you cannot put your child down to nap without him waking up. During my girl’s newborn days, I spent many hours in our recliner because that’s the only way she would stay asleep. I lost feeling in my legs, my butt felt flat, and my arms would cramp up. It was guaranteed that I had to pee and the remote was across the room. I didn’t dare move, though. Sacrifice my body for a decent nap? Heck yes!

Bonus points if you manage to get the remote, your phone, water and snacks near you before baby falls asleep on your lap. Double bonus points if you get baby to fall asleep in bed with you and you get to nap as well.

2. The Power Nap

These are my daughter’s favorites and my least liked naps. Here’s how they go: She falls asleep. I successfully transfer her from my arms to her crib. I do my celebratory strut down the hallway and then look around my messy house trying to decide which disaster to tackle first. No sooner do I start folding my laundry does she wake up. I hurry back up to her room hoping to catch her still half asleep so I can persuade her to nap a little longer only to find her wide awake and full of energy. I shudder and in my head I’m yelling, “No! Why? No!” I know this smile I see staring back at me will be short lived, as the strings of sleepiness will be dragging her down in about an hour. My house remains a mess, I know my baby is not getting the rest she needs, and I feel like a failure.

3. The Car Nap

Hopefully this occurs on your way home and not on your way out. The Car Nap is pretty easy because it usually requires little to no effort to get baby to sleep, but leaves parents/caretakers at a fork in the road, so to speak. Do you drive around extending the life of the nap, wasting gas and further polluting the environment? Or do you go home and attempt the dreaded car seat to bed transfer? I will say my husband and I have often stopped at our favorite coffee shop and then driven around for an hour sipping our coffee, enjoying each other’s company and conversation while our little one dozed peacefully in the backseat. A failed transfer can result in either a Power Nap or a Jailbird Nap and if we have the time (and gas money), we prefer to not play those odds.

Sometimes this nap is modified for a stroller or baby carrier. Either way you’re faced with the question: To transfer or not to transfer?

4. The Pre-Game Wrestling Match

This speaks more to the lengths you may have to go through to get your tired baby to sleep. Picture this: Your child is showing all signs of sleepiness – rubbing eyes, fussing, yawning. You take her into her room, sit in the rocker, and attempt to nurse (or just rock) your baby to sleep. Baby refuses and attempts a backwards bend in your lap, practically launching herself backwards head first over the side of the rocker. You get her situated again and try singing a calming song. She kicks you in the throat. You pin down her legs. She arches and wriggles like a fish on a hook to free herself. There’s crying now (could be from you or the baby or both – no one’s judging). You finally have the legs controlled and try shushing rhythmically to get baby to relax. She shoves her fingers in your mouth or nose. You try to hold down her free arm and lose your grip on her legs and then you’re back at square one.

The effort it takes for this naptime often doesn’t feel like the outcome is worth the effort, but you’re chasing a dream, so you give it all you got. You’re sweaty and spent by the end and praying the nap lasts at least an hour.

5. Naptime Nirvana

The name speaks for itself. It’s the perfect naptime when the stars or planets are aligned and baby goes down quickly without tears. He sleeps in his crib for the perfect amount of time and wakes up a cheerful rested baby. Everything is perfect so you’re also super productive and manage to do everything on your To Do list. One can dream, right?

Sometimes naptime isn’t just one type of nap. Sometimes you get combinations, like a Pre-Game Wrestling Match ending in a Power Nap. Every baby is different. Maybe you have a great sleeper and he always gives you Naptime Nirvanas. Maybe you’re like me and naptime rules your life more times than you’d care to admit (so much so you categorize and name each type of nap). Either way, know that your self worth does not correlate with the success of your baby’s naptime.

You’re doing your best. You’re enough. You’re doing great.

Wishing everyone (babies, parents, and caregivers alike) restful and painless naps!

With love,

Jeanne & Jeannette