As a first time mom, I never
understood how my life would be ruled by naptime. Naps can often decide how
successful I feel as a mom, and how
successful I feel as a person. The back
arching, the groans, the tears, the clinginess, the fits of rage of a tired
child are enough to wear on a parent’s sanity. Leaving a party early with a
tired tantrumming toddler or rushing out of a restaurant carrying your crying
baby hiding your own tears as you husband pays the check is not the way any
parent wants to spend his or her time together as a family.
As a working mom, naptime is
even more crucial. With only three to four hours to spend with her from when I
get home from work until her bedtime, it’s frustrating when my fun-loving girl
is so tired that she’s in complete meltdown mode for the short time I get to
spend with her.
Because naps rule our lives,
I’ve named and characterized naps into 5 general categories.
1. The Jailbird Nap
This is when, despite your
best efforts, you cannot put your child down to nap without him waking up. During
my girl’s newborn days, I spent many hours in our recliner because that’s the
only way she would stay asleep. I lost feeling in my legs, my butt felt flat,
and my arms would cramp up. It was guaranteed that I had to pee and the remote
was across the room. I didn’t dare move, though. Sacrifice my body for a decent
nap? Heck yes!
Bonus points if you manage to get the remote, your
phone, water and snacks near you before baby falls asleep on your lap. Double
bonus points if you get baby to fall asleep in bed with you and you get to nap
as well.
2. The Power Nap
These are my daughter’s
favorites and my least liked naps. Here’s how they go: She falls asleep. I
successfully transfer her from my arms to her crib. I do my celebratory strut
down the hallway and then look around my messy house trying to decide which
disaster to tackle first. No sooner do I start folding my laundry does she wake
up. I hurry back up to her room hoping to catch her still half asleep so I can
persuade her to nap a little longer only to find her wide awake and full of
energy. I shudder and in my head I’m yelling, “No! Why? No!” I know this smile
I see staring back at me will be short lived, as the strings of sleepiness will
be dragging her down in about an hour. My house remains a mess, I know my baby
is not getting the rest she needs, and I feel like a failure.
3. The Car Nap
Hopefully this occurs on your
way home and not on your way out. The Car Nap is pretty easy because it usually
requires little to no effort to get baby to sleep, but leaves
parents/caretakers at a fork in the road, so to speak. Do you drive around
extending the life of the nap, wasting gas and further polluting the
environment? Or do you go home and attempt the dreaded car seat to bed
transfer? I will say my husband and I have often stopped at our favorite coffee
shop and then driven around for an hour sipping our coffee, enjoying each
other’s company and conversation while our little one dozed peacefully in the
backseat. A failed transfer can result in either a Power Nap or a Jailbird Nap
and if we have the time (and gas money), we prefer to not play those odds.
Sometimes this nap is
modified for a stroller or baby carrier. Either way you’re faced with the
question: To transfer or not to transfer?
4. The Pre-Game Wrestling Match
This speaks more to the
lengths you may have to go through to get your tired baby to sleep. Picture
this: Your child is showing all signs of sleepiness – rubbing eyes, fussing,
yawning. You take her into her room, sit in the rocker, and attempt to nurse
(or just rock) your baby to sleep. Baby refuses and attempts a backwards bend
in your lap, practically launching herself backwards head first over the side
of the rocker. You get her situated again and try singing a calming song. She
kicks you in the throat. You pin down her legs. She arches and wriggles like a
fish on a hook to free herself. There’s crying now (could be from you or the
baby or both – no one’s judging). You finally have the legs controlled and try
shushing rhythmically to get baby to relax. She shoves her fingers in your
mouth or nose. You try to hold down her free arm and lose your grip on her legs
and then you’re back at square one.
The effort it takes for this
naptime often doesn’t feel like the outcome is worth the effort, but you’re
chasing a dream, so you give it all you got. You’re sweaty and spent by the end
and praying the nap lasts at least an hour.
5. Naptime Nirvana
The name speaks for itself.
It’s the perfect naptime when the stars or planets are aligned and baby goes
down quickly without tears. He sleeps in his crib for the perfect amount of
time and wakes up a cheerful rested baby. Everything is perfect so you’re also
super productive and manage to do everything on your To Do list. One can dream,
right?
Sometimes naptime isn’t just
one type of nap. Sometimes you get combinations, like a Pre-Game Wrestling
Match ending in a Power Nap. Every baby is different. Maybe you have a great
sleeper and he always gives you Naptime Nirvanas. Maybe you’re like me and
naptime rules your life more times than you’d care to admit (so much so you categorize
and name each type of nap). Either way, know that your self worth does not
correlate with the success of your baby’s naptime.
You’re doing your best. You’re
enough. You’re doing great.
Wishing everyone (babies,
parents, and caregivers alike) restful and painless naps!
With love,
Jeanne & Jeannette
